I’m officially in bride mode (!!) and I still can’t believe I get to say that.
After photographing over 200 weddings, I thought I’d be so prepared when it came time to plan my own. And in some ways, I totally am.
But in others? Let’s just say… I’ve had my fair share of spirals.
Being a wedding photographer has given me a front-row seat to what works, what doesn’t, and what really matters on a wedding day.
But planning your own wedding when you know everything (maybe a little too well) about weddings? It’s a blessing and a brain overload.
If you’re newly engaged and deep in the Pinterest scroll, this post is for you.
I’m sharing what’s helped me as a photographer-turned-bride, what’s caught me totally off guard, and what I’ve learned that might help you too.
Before the Ring: The Planning Started Early
I Started Researching Before I Was Engaged
Okay, confession time: I started looking at venues before I had a ring on my finger.
But hear me out – I knew that planning my own wedding would come with one big challenge right off the bat: deciding where.
It’s important that you don’t rush that part because you want to do enough research and understand what’s out there.
Compare prices, service options, styles of venues, and location factors when choosing your wedding venue.
I knew I wanted an elegant, bright and airy place that had getting ready spaces for both the guys and girls, the ceremony was outside, the reception space was bright, and that it was all in one area. I wanted to avoid traveling between places.
I wanted to ensure it would photograph beautifully and that the spaces and feaures would allow a smooth flowing day.
I’ve photographed so many incredible celebrations in Minnesota, and part of me thought we’d go that route. I already knew the venues, the vendors, the lighting quirks – basically everything a bride shouldn’t have to worry about.
But the more we talked about it, the more we realized we wanted something that felt exciting, fresh, and unique for us—somewhere I hadn’t already photographed or seen dozens of times.
I wanted the chance to be creative and bring my own vision to life, without feeling like I was recreating someone else’s day.
However, everything changed when my fiance, Ismael, got a job promotion with Delta in Orlando, Florida! Two weeks after we found out about the promotion is when Ismael proposed, and all my research started over because Florida was now a more intriguing option.
Choosing Florida over Minnesota was a big decision (and honestly, not an easy one), but it came down to following our gut. We knew Florida was going to be a special place for us to get married.
We also realized that a lot of our friends and family would be traveling from out of state no matter what, so choosing a destination like Florida made sense. It’s a place people love to visit, and it gave our guests the opportunity to turn our wedding into a little vacation of their own.
I had looked into a few Florida wedding venues before we got engaged, but I felt unprepared trying to find venues.
Be patient with this part of the process.
Decide your visual style of the venue you’d like, decide on your budget, and then reach out for info. (be prepared to be flexible for a sticker shock – venues charge $5k-$25k+ just for rentals of the space, while food and beverages can range from $85-$250 per person).
Reach out to lots of venues for photos, service offerings, and prices. From there, make a list of venues that best fit your needs and start to schedule lots of tours!
It’s time consuming, but you truly won’t know which venue is a good fit until you walk into it. Photos can be decieving or not do a space justice.
Rinse and repeat for each vendor, or ask other trustworthy vendors for referrals!
I Asked My Fiancé What He Actually Cares About
One of the very first things I did when we got engaged was sit down with my fiancé and ask him, “What do you actually care about?”.
Not in a dramatic way – just genuinely wanting to know where he wanted to be involved and where he was happy to let me take the lead.
And wow, did that help!
He’s been incredibly supportive and trusts me with so much, but opening that door early made planning feel way more like a team effort.
It took pressure off of both of us and helped us focus on what mattered instead of just checking boxes.
Being a wedding photographer has shown me how important that early communication is, because weddings are about two people, not just one Type A bride with a Google Doc (even if that bride is definitely me).
One of the biggest advantages I have in this area is knowing how to communicate clearly and set expectations early—not just with my partner, but with everyone involved. I’ve seen how many issues stem from poor communication, so I’m making sure to keep everyone informed well in advance.
Insider Knowledge vs. Overwhelm
Vendor Experience Helped, But Florida Overwhelmed Me
You’d think that after working with hundreds of vendors, I’d have it all figured out… but moving to a brand-new state kind of flipped that confidence on its head.
In Minnesota, I knew the venues, the florists, the hair and makeup artists. I even knew which places had the best prep rooms for portraits.
But once we chose Florida? It was like starting from scratch.
Even with all my background in being a wedding photographer and knowing a basic idea of what I wanted for my own wedding, I still found myself totally overwhelmed.
The sheer number of options, not knowing what is out there, the different price points, organizing all the details into spreadsheets to compare, and not having personal experience with many vendors in Florida made things feel challenging with information overload.
I had to lean on my Florida wedding friends (shoutout to all of you!) and industry connections to get honest referrals and start building a vendor team I could trust.
We toured venues in both Orlando and Southwest Florida, compared packages, and made decisions based on what fit our budget and felt aligned with our personalities and values.
It wasn’t easy, but it reminded me what so many of my couples go through and gave me even more compassion for anyone doing this without a wedding-industry background.
You don’t know what you don’t know.
One major advantage I have, though, is knowing exactly what to look for in a vendor. I’ve worked with enough vendors over the years, so I know exactly what strong communication, professionalism, and teamwork look like.
I can spot red flags early, hire vendors I trust, and communicate clearly about expectations, timelines, and responsibilities. Plus, I have a solid sense of what things should actually cost—so I’m not overpaying for subpar service. That’s saved me from a lot of potential mistakes.
I Educated My Fiancé Along the Way
It’s hard to know what you want when you don’t know what’s involved and what needs to be considered. I’ve been immersed in weddings for years, so I have a pretty solid understanding of how much things cost – and more importantly, why they cost that much.
My fiancé? Not so much.
So, I made it a point to walk him through it. When I booked venue tours for us, I showed him low budget venues and high-end venues so he could compare the pricing and see what’s worth paying more for and how saving money isn’t always worth it for some venues or services.
He began to understand what “you get what you pay for” looked like in the wedding industry. I explained the different catering breakdowns, the difference between a $1,000 photographer and a $6,000 photographer, where we could DIY, and everything in between.
It helped him so much to see the value in great vendors and understand why I prioritized certain things. Once he understood more, he started voicing opinions about what he liked and didn’t like, which helped me better understand what was important to him.
As we continued booking vendors, I found it worked best to narrow down the options and then check in to see if he wanted to weigh in. Most of the time, he trusted my judgment and let me take the lead, but I still wanted to make sure he felt involved and heard—without overwhelming him.
I started giving him progress updates instead of asking a million questions, which kept him informed and included in a way that felt manageable.
That “education” piece is something I do all the time for my couples—helping them understand how weddings work, where their money is going, and how to make confident decisions. Bringing that same mindset into our own wedding planning has been incredibly helpful.
Because I’ve guided so many couples through their wedding days, I’ve also gotten really good at educating and setting expectations.
I’ve helped my fiancé understand the true costs of weddings and made space for his input, and I’m doing the same for my bridal party and guests—making sure they feel prepared, not overwhelmed.
Staying Grounded (Even When I Spiral)
I Know What Actually Matters in the End
After photographing over 200 weddings, I’ve seen everything: the elegant, the chaotic, the perfectly planned, the delightfully messy.
And if there’s one thing being a wedding photographer has taught me, it’s this:
What truly matters at the end of the day isn’t the flat lay or the signature cocktail (even though I LOVE those little details to photograph).
It’s the people. The emotions. The energy in the room.
That perspective has been such a gift during planning my own wedding. It’s helped me let go of things that aren’t us, skip over trends that don’t hold meaning, and focus on creating a day that feels genuinely irreplaceable – not just Pinterest-pretty or recommended by wedding Tiktok.
That said… I’d be lying if I told you I don’t still spiral about the little things.
Like, do I need custom napkin rings? Is my color palette too safe? Is it too much to ask my guests to follow a color dress code?
I know what’s important – but yeah, I still have moments where I have to remind myself to breathe and revisit another day.
I’ve seen how a wedding day actually flows. I know the points where things tend to run late, where stress creeps in, and where the real magic happens—usually in those quiet, in-between moments that no one planned for.
That kind of insight has helped me plan a day that feels calm and intentional. I don’t want it to feel rushed or chaotic—I want it to breathe.
Creating a Unique Vision Is Still Hard
Because I photograph weddings all the time, I’ve seen so many stunning ideas, but visually, I’m always thinking about the bigger picture.
I know what photographs well—from colors and textures to layouts and lighting. I naturally think in terms of balance, composition, and flow. I want it to feel cohesive and camera-ready.
Now that I’m planning my own wedding, I’m constantly trying to make sure our day doesn’t feel like a repeat of someone else’s.
Finding a look and feel that feels true to us is surprisingly hard. I’ve spent hours sifting through inspiration, pulling together vision boards, and ordering so many swatches for bridesmaid dresses it’s starting to feel like a part-time job.
But it’s worth it.
Creating something personal takes effort. I want to styled everything with intention because I know how it all comes together on camera.
Letting my girls choose styles they feel amazing in, experimenting with unexpected color combos, and trusting my gut has helped shape a vibe that I’m in love with.
The Planning Skills I’m Grateful For
This is the part of wedding planning where I actually feel like I’ve got it all together. Building timelines is second nature.
I know how much time we need for each part of the day, when the best light hits, and how to buffer in breaks so I’m not rushing or stressed.
When it comes to communication and delegation, I’ve seen what happens when couples forget to prep their bridal party or vendors in advance—and I’m not making that mistake.
I’m keeping everyone in the loop early with timelines, expectations, and clear responsibilities to avoid last-minute chaos.
So yes – my timeline is already a beautiful, color-coded spreadsheet that includes lighting notes, transition padding, and at least two moments where my fiancé and I get to breathe and just be together.
Quick tip for my brides: Always build in 10 to 15 minutes of quiet time with your person right after the ceremony. It’s one of the most emotional parts of the day, and having that space, just the two of you, makes it even more special.
The Deposit Phase Is Financial Whiplash
Let me tell you… knowing it’s coming and actually seeing the numbers hit your bank account are two very different things.
We booked our top vendors quickly to lock them in (because I know how fast calendars fill), and even though I was ready for it, that wave of deposits all at once? Whew. It still hit hard.
But it forced us to get real about what we value and where we’re comfortable investing.
For us, that meant prioritizing an amazing vendor team and letting go of things that felt more “nice to have” than essential.
Being on both sides – planning my own wedding and working in the industry – has helped me walk that line with clarity and empathy.
And if you’re in that same boat: it’s okay to feel a little dizzy when those payments start rolling in. You’re not alone.
Managing Expectations & Emotions
Balancing Opinions (Without Losing Ourselves)
Here’s something I didn’t expect to feel quite so hard: the weight of indecision.
When you’re engaged, everyone has an opinion – your mom, your best friend, your neighbor’s cousin who got married in 2017.
And when you’re also a wedding photographer, that pressure can feel even louder. People assume you know exactly what to do… which is true, but also not the point.
It can be helpful to bounce ideas off other people or ask wedding vendors for their perspective on color palettes and design choices.
Some advice has been incredibly helpful, and other times we’ve had to kindly (or silently) let things go.
Not every opinion needs to become part of your plan. Trusting ourselves and our vision has been the only way to stay grounded.
What’s helped us is considering if something really feels like us every time we get a new suggestions.
For example, most people don’t understand why I don’t want to use the standard venue chairs. To them, it seems like a waste of money to rent different ones. But I know the chairs I have in mind will completely transform the look of the space.
And that’s worth it to me.
The Work-Life-Wedding Juggle Is Real
Running a business while planning my own wedding has been… a lot.
Add in moving to a new state, editing galleries, shooting sessions, fixing up my townhouse to rent out, and trying to answer emails like a functioning adult?
Yeah, I’ve hit a few burnout walls and delayed email replies.
There have been days where I’ve felt guilty for prioritizing our wedding – like I should be editing instead of browsing linen textures or finalizing a guest list.
But I’m learning to give myself permission to slow down.
This season is important too. It’s okay if I don’t have every little thing figured out yet (even if Type A Lindsey is screaming inside).
We’re doing this once. And it deserves the time, the energy, and the joy that comes with building a celebration that reflects our love, not just my to-do list.
I realized that I can’t forget to have fun and relax with my fiance in our free time. Not all of my days off can be taken up with wedding planning.
Decide which days are wedding planning discussion days and which days you avoid wedding talk.
Looking Ahead to the Big Day
My Goal Is to Be a Present Bride
The more I plan, the clearer my goal becomes: I want to be there. Fully.
Not managing timelines or worrying about weather apps or asking someone if the candles got lit.
I want to laugh, cry, dance, hug, and soak up every second with the people I love.
That’s why I’m doing so much now. When our wedding day comes, I can let go.
I’ve built a vendor team I trust completely. I’ve created a timeline that leaves room to breathe. And I’m reminding myself that the magic doesn’t come from perfection, it comes from presence and peace.
Being a wedding photographer has taught me that the most powerful photos are the ones where people are truly in it. And that’s exactly what I want to be.
I Get It Now – Truly
Being a wedding photographer has always given me a deep appreciation for my couples – their stories, their vision, their hearts.
But planning my own wedding? It’s taken that appreciation to a whole new level.
I’ve felt the pressure. The excitement. The stress. The spiraling over linen colors. The joy of finding the right vendor. The overwhelm of trying to do it all.
And through all of it, I’ve come to understand just how much heart goes into planning a day that reflects your love.
To any bride reading this: I see you. I am you. And when you’re ready – when the checklists start to feel a little heavy and you want someone who truly understands this season – I’d be honored to be the one behind the camera, capturing every intentional, emotional, beautiful detail of your day.
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